Hello everyone. Thank you for taking my “thinking out loud” in consideration, for your attention and comments.  If my blog helps at least one person to make up his/her mind about adoption, it would be the ultimate reward for me. I have received a question about disrupted and failed adoption. This was actually a thing I was going to talk about in today’s post.

Unfortunately, not every adoption ends up in taking a baby to a new home. Due to some reasons, adoption may be disrupted. There are many reasons for it. Most often, the reasons for failed adoption lies in agency’s cheating. Unfortunately, not all adoption agencies, lawyers and facilitators act legally and in reality help you adopt. Some may take your money and then just make you wait, wait, wait. I know a family who were pursuing Guatemalan adoption and were waiting for 6 years for a match! They just lost dozens of thousands dollars and lost all hope to become parents. It was heart breaking. These people stopped trusting people. All people. There are agencies that match prospective parents with children who are not and have never been available for adoption. So, please be very thorough and careful when choosing your legal adoption partner. Read recommendations, ask parents who have adopted through this agency. Ask an agency representative to provide you with their statistics report. Read forum comments about this particular facilitator or agency. Please, be very careful.

The next possible reason for adoption failure may lie in adopters themselves. It seems to me that everyone knows that in order to be found eligible to adopt one has to have crystal clear police record, have good income and good health condition. There are people who don’t fit all the requirements for prospective adopter so they forge documents or provide incorrect information. Please, people, don’t do that. All your papers will be checked several times by different institutions and truth will anyways be revealed. I hope that those who read it have never even thought of forgery or fraud. This isn’t right. This is a crime, actually.

The most heart-breaking type of failure is disruption after matching with a child. You already fall in love with that particular child, you imagine him or her entering your home, meeting your family, spending weekends together. Generally speaking, in your mind this child is already yours, but in reality he still isn’t officially yours. There might be different reasons for it. For example, birth relatives may want to renew their custody or parental rights. The law would always be on the side of birth family.

Hopefully, we haven’t met all these problems while adopting our son Peng. But we know we could. We were emotionally ready for difficulties. Perhaps that is why they didn’t happen to us. I really hope that your adoption process will be smooth, but anyways one should know about probable complications.

To cheer you up, statistics show that the amount of disrupted adoption doesn’t exceed 10%. I hope you will fit those 90% that is really a lot. You already know my recommendations: proper choice of adoption agency, being truthful in your reports and records and… have some luck.

My dear Peng and my wife are visiting our pediatrician for a scheduled checkup, so we are a little bit nervous and pressed for time today. He needs to be vaccinated today. I hope everything will go well. Have to go now.

Have a gorgeous day,

David.